Thank you to a good friend of mine JD for these great jokes and definitions. We hope you are doing well in Arizona or Nevada or wherever the light may take you. JD used to work in the banking industry and has saved some great jokes that they used to fax back and forth between offices. Remember facsimiles? how about 8 Tracks?

Accountant: A fiscal scorekeeper skilled in preparing financial information which fails to reveal all the good things about a successful business and/or all the unfortunate things about a poor one.

Anticipation: The retirement of debt prior to legal requirement, generally like kicking on 3rd down.

Balloon Note: The little-brother of the two-horse parlay.

Bank Examiner: A Sherlock Holmes type bureaucrat looknig for the excitement of a good ingenious embezzlement. When he finds one he will immediately arrest the banker who heads his church choir and hasn't had a vacation in years.

Bank Runner: Formerly and errand boy. Now a nostalgic myth, generally associated with the Chairman. The point is made that neither education nor intelligence is needed to become head of the bank.

Branch Bank: A small edition of a major catastrophe, like being killed by a Volkswagen instead of a Mack truck.

Budget: An estimate of expense.

Business Cycle: A predictable movement of economic activity which has a way of ultimately justifying the prediction since they way to start a boom or depression is to predict one.

Cash: Evidence of inability to make appropriate investments.

Common Stockholder: In theory, an owner of a corporation; in practice an investor who has traded authority for liquidity and wound up with something he can keep or sell but not improve.

Compensating Balance: The bank's revenge for the insult of the offered collateral.

Covertible Debenture: A sort of financial double-dribble in which the investor can decide at leisure whether he wants to sue as an ordinary creditor or as a minority stockholder.

Credit: The opposite of debit: something extended by a bank, like a rotten plank for crossing a bottomless chasm.

Delinquency: the condition of being quite a few steps behind in a short race.

Deposit Insurance: A clever way in which a widow in Topeka can be made responsible for the activities of a rogue in Providence.

Dividend: The absolute minimum adjustment between mine and thine a corporation deems possible to offer its ownership without a management suit.

Economic Fact: A myth.

Endorser: A fakir looking for his bed of nails.

Equity: The difference between debt and value. Usually a short walk.

Expense: Approximately twice the budget.

Foreclosure: The legal operation by which a bank, having made a stupid loan, becomes the owner of a worthless asset at precisely the moment it becomes worthless.

Full Disclosure: A requirement of the SEC which has spawned more euphemisms than young love. A desirable impossibility.

Income: Approximately half the sales manager's projection and twice the evidence of the tax return.

Loan Committee: A group in training for three significant roles in Macbeth.

Negotiability: A legal deodorant enabling more than one idiot to enjoy the same calamity.

90-day Note: An economic 100-yard dash.

Participation: A financial exercise in which, one bank, having no guts induces another bank, having no knowledge, to take part in a fiscal adventure.

Proxy: A device by which the victim hands the headsman the axe.

Receivable: The amount the customer has refused to pay without a discount.

Refinance: To arrange to commit the same indiscretions over a more extended period.

Research: Academic basis for a mistake.

Service Charge: A subsidy paid the bank by its small customers to enable the institution to survive the rigor of its own investment program.

Term: Not enough time.

Trust Officer: The bank official in charge of converting assets of undefended corpses into government bonds.

Thanks again JD - We love you man!

Until Next Time...